Mustard Tee
Not a condiment.
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Do not apply to food.
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Do not refrigerate.
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Do not squeeze.
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Do not shake before wearing.
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Do not microwave.
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Do not ask where the mustard is.
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Do not expect clear answers.
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Do not iron while wearing.
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Do not eat.
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Do not garnish.
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Do not bottle.
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Do not store in the pantry.
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Do not drizzle.
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Do not serve chilled.
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Do not marinate.
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Do not simmer.
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Do not baste.
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Do not sprinkle.
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Do not season.
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Do not plate.
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Do not explain it to your parents.
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Do not ask the bartender what it means.
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Do not trust anyone who says they understand it.
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Do not wear to a job interview.
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Do not apologise for it.
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Do not overthink it.
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Do not google the meaning.
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Do not read the comments.
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Do not ask the designer.
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Do not ask the printer.
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Do not expect compliments.
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Do not be surprised when you get them anyway.
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Do not wear it ironically.
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Do not wear it unironically.
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Do not ask which one it is.
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Do not wear while operating heavy machinery.
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Do not wear to court.
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Do not wear to a wedding unless you’re the problem.
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Do not blame us if it becomes your favourite shirt.
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Do not call customer service.
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Do not fold perfectly.
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Do not keep it too clean.
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Do not save it for special occasions.
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Do not lend it to someone who won’t give it back.
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Do not frame it.
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Do not archive it.
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Do not resell it immediately.
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Do not bury it in the wardrobe.
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Do not overstyle it.
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Do not tuck it in.
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Do not wear to the beach if you hate sand.
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Do not wear to the pub if you hate beer.
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Do not wear to the ocean if you hate salt.
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Do not wear anywhere boring.
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Do not wear it once and decide.
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Do not judge it under fluorescent lighting.
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Do not spill red wine on it intentionally.
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Do not trust someone who says it’s “too yellow.”
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Do not believe it’s subtle.
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Do not expect subtlety.
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Do not panic if strangers comment on it.
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Do not correct them.
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Do not start a debate.
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Do not write an essay about it.
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Do not overanalyse the graphic.
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Do not decode the meaning.
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Do not ask if it’s art.
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Do not ask if it’s fashion.
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Do not ask if it’s both.
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Do not ask again.
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Do not store next to actual mustard.
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Do not leave near hot chips unattended.
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Do not dip it in anything.
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Do not pair with ketchup out of spite.
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Do not attempt to wash the yellow off.
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Do not bleach.
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Do not panic when it wrinkles.
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Do not dry clean unnecessarily.
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Do not shrink it on purpose.
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Do not overcare.
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Do not expect it to change your life.
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Do not rule out the possibility.
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Do not blame the shirt for bad decisions.
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Do not credit the shirt for good ones.
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Do not take it too seriously.
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Do not take it too lightly.
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Do not assume there’s a punchline.
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Do not wait for permission.
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Do not hesitate.
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Do not second guess.
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Do not forget to wear it.
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Do not forget where you left it.
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Do not forget the night you wore it.
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Do not forget who you met in it.
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Do not forget the story you made in it.
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Do not forget it’s just a shirt.
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Do not forget it’s not just a shirt.
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Do not overthink that sentence.
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Do not ask what number 100 is.
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Do not treat it like a condiment.
$65.00
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